Every parent of a Leaving Certificate student asks themselves the same question at some point around now. Is this normal, or is my child in trouble. I run Study Skills Ireland and I meet thousands of Irish secondary students a year, and it is a fair question with a reasonably clear answer, once you know what to look at.
What is normal exam pressure and what is not?
Normal pressure comes and goes with events. A student is anxious before a test, flat afterwards, and back to themselves by the weekend. What is not normal is when the worry stops lifting, when it appears without a trigger, and when it starts changing how the student eats, sleeps and behaves for weeks rather than days.
The pattern matters more than the intensity. A student who is very upset the night before a mock and fine on Saturday is having a hard week. A student who has been quietly not fine since September is having something else.
So the question I would ask is not how stressed is my child, it is when was the last day they seemed like themselves. Parents usually know the answer immediately.
What should I actually be watching for?
Watch sleep, appetite, withdrawal from friends, loss of interest in things they used to enjoy, physical complaints like headaches and stomach aches with no obvious cause, and any talk of not being able to cope. Any one of those on its own may be nothing. Several of them together, sustained over weeks, is worth acting on.
Two things in that list get missed most often. The physical complaints, because they get treated as a bug going around, and the withdrawal, because a sixth year retreating to their room looks exactly like studying.
The other one parents miss is the student who is doing everything right. A teenager who is working constantly, never satisfied, and visibly frightened of falling behind can be in more difficulty than the one who has stopped working altogether.
How common is this in Ireland?
Common enough that no family should feel unusual. Research by the Economic and Social Research Institute on Leaving Certificate stress found around forty per cent of female students reporting losing sleep with worry, and more than half feeling constantly under strain, with boys reporting lower but still substantial levels.
The My World Survey carried out with over ten thousand Irish adolescents by Jigsaw and University College Dublin found anxiety and low mood had risen among young people, with girls affected more, and found that sleep and physical activity were among the things most clearly associated with better outcomes.
That second finding is quietly encouraging. The things that help are ordinary and available. They are not clever, they are just consistently neglected in an exam year.
What helps at home?
Keep the ordinary parts of life running. Regular meals eaten together, sleep at a reasonable hour, some physical activity, and time that has nothing to do with school. The Irish research points the same way as common sense here, and students who keep playing a sport or a music through the year tend to cope better, not worse.
The instinct in many houses is the opposite. Everything gets cleared away so the student can study, and the student ends up with nothing in their week except the thing that is frightening them. I would keep at least one commitment that has nothing to do with points.
Also, be careful with the language of the year. A house where the Leaving Cert is discussed at every meal is exhausting to live in. Protect some hours where it simply is not mentioned.
What should I say to a student who is struggling?
Name what you are seeing, without a solution attached. Something like, you have seemed wound up the last few weeks and I have been worried about you, is enough. Teenagers very rarely respond to what is wrong, and they quite often respond to being noticed accurately.
Then say the thing most Irish parents believe and forget to say out loud. That you love them regardless of what comes out in August, that there are many roads into every career, and that no exam is worth their health. They need to hear that from you rather than infer it.
What I would avoid is reassurance that skips past them, the you will be grand variety. It closes the conversation and it tells a frightened student that this is not a house where you can say you are not grand.
When should we get help?
If the difficulty has lasted several weeks, if it is affecting sleep, eating or attendance, or if your child talks about not being able to go on, speak to your GP. That is the right first step in Ireland and it opens the door to everything else. You do not need to wait until things are severe to make that appointment.
The school is the other route and an underused one. The guidance counsellor sees this every year, knows your child in a setting you do not, and can often put supports in place quickly and quietly.
For young people themselves, Jigsaw and spunout.ie are Irish services worth knowing about, and the HSE has information on supports for young people. If you or your child are in distress right now, contact your GP, or the Samaritans on 116 123, who answer at any hour.
Does anything about the way a student studies affect this?
It does, more than most families realise. A great deal of exam anxiety in Irish students comes from not knowing what to do next, which turns every evening into an open ended obligation with no finish line. Students who work to a plan with named tasks and a finishing time report feeling far more in control.
That is not a treatment for anxiety and I would not overstate it. But when I ask students in seminars what makes them most anxious, the answer is rarely the exam itself. It is the feeling of being behind and not knowing where to start.
Giving a student a method removes a specific, fixable part of that. It is much of what Study Skills Ireland seminars are built to do, and it is often the difference between a student who is under pressure and a student who is drowning in it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between normal exam stress and a problem?
Normal pressure rises and falls with events and lifts afterwards. A problem is worry that does not lift, appears without a trigger, and changes sleep, appetite or behaviour for weeks rather than days.
What signs should Irish parents watch for?
Disturbed sleep, appetite changes, withdrawal from friends, loss of interest in things they enjoyed, unexplained headaches or stomach aches, and any talk of not coping. Several together, sustained, is worth acting on.
How common is exam stress among Irish students?
Research by the Economic and Social Research Institute found around forty per cent of female Leaving Certificate students losing sleep with worry and over half feeling constantly under strain.
Should my child give up sport or hobbies to study?
Usually not. Irish research links continued participation in sport and activity to better coping. A student whose week contains nothing but the thing frightening them tends to fare worse.
When should we contact a GP?
If difficulty has lasted several weeks, is affecting sleep, eating or school attendance, or if your child talks about not being able to go on. Your GP is the right first step in Ireland, and the school guidance counsellor is a good second route.
Removing the part of the pressure you can remove
Study Skills Ireland runs study skills seminars for secondary school students and talks for parents in schools across Ireland. Enda O’Doherty teaches students how to plan a week and finish an evening, which takes away the not knowing where to start that sits underneath a great deal of exam anxiety.
You can see what the student study skills seminar covers, read about the parents seminar, or get in touch about bringing a session to your school.
If you or your child are struggling right now, please talk to your GP, or ring the Samaritans on 116 123. They answer at any hour and there is no bother at all in ringing them.
The Secondary School Survival Guide for ParentsFirst Year to the Leaving Cert and the CAO, with 26 printable worksheets included.€19, see the guide
The Big JumpA parent’s guide to First Year: settling in, homework, phones, sleep, study and the Junior Cycle.€19, see the guide
The Phone BattlePhones, sleep, social media and gaming. Experiments instead of arguments, with 17 fillable family worksheets.€19, see the guide
